What's Wrong with Me?

Take a few moments to do this exercise. It could make a huge difference in your relationships (present and future)

It seems like almost everybody is looking for that perfect mate.Some are fortunate to find that person and others have given up the search all together. Others are even satisfied with being alone.

However, I’ve noticed that when you ask someone about the kind of person their looking for (be it for a long-term relationship or even as a friend), most people are not at a lost for words. The same could be said when you ask someone why he or she would be a good partner, wife, husband, or friend for someone else.

But how many people have ever stopped to ask themselves why someone would not be interested in them? Now I’m not trying to rain on your parade or make you feel bad about yourself, but let me let you in on a little secret:

No one has a problem dealing with your good qualities!

Your good qualities are the reasons they were attracted to you in the first place. However, the reason why most relationships end in heartbreak is because the two involved are having problems dealing with the other person’s bad qualities. That could include anything from poor communication skills to a quick temper.

Imagine if someone would pay you a million dollas for every true reason you could give on why someone would not want to be in a relationship with you. How many things do you think you could you come up with? Take a moment to think about this, and write down as many answers as you can. Remember, you get a million dollars for each true response.

Why is this such a good exercise? Other than the fact that a good relationship is really based on two people who can put up with each other’s bad habits, we need to go into our relationships with our eyes wide open instead of wearing blinders. We all have bad habits, attitudes (sometimes), and other less-than-attractive features about ourselves that, if we were honest with ourselves, could possibly prepare our friends and mates for the worst. These bad qualities are what ruin a relationship, not the good ones. And these qualities are the ones we need to work on before we consider being part of a couple. A friend once told me that in order to be "successfully married," you must first be "successfully single."

It’s true that the big things do not ruin a relationship, but rather the little ones -- those little annoying habits we tend to conveniently overlook, until someone else spots them for us. But if we can admit our little flaws (in the beginning), then we can prepare to deal with them; this is the first step to building a lasting relationship.

Trust me, even if you hide your bad qualities, eventually, the other person will find out. However, if you warn your friend, partner or significant other beforehand, you will not only reduce your personal stress level, but your relationship will be prepared to deal with the tough spots. Just think about it.